10 tips to be the communicator you want to hear

In Everyone Communicates, Few Connect, author and leadership speaker John C. Maxwell offers a number of tips on improving not just our communication skills but our ability to make a genuine connection with people. Here are some of the tips:

1 GATHER RESOURCES REGULARLY

Maxwell says:

“I thought, Oh no, I’m going to be another boring preacher.That’s when I started the discipline of collecting quotes, stories, and illustrations for my speaking. I figured if I couldn’t be interesting, at the very least I would include things in my messages that were.”

2 TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR LISTENERS

What people feel when they listen to you speaking is your responsibility. So make efforts to make your speech/ engagement interesting.

He boldly states that there are no bad audiences; only bad speakers.

Avoid a take-it-or-leave-it attitude.

Similarly, when writing, it is helpful to ask yourself a question that the historian Barbara Tuchman keeps on her typewriter: “Will the reader turn the page?” So make it interesting in a way they would.

3 OFFER A MEMORABLE EXPERIENCE

Apply your creativity and make your speech or time together memorable. Maxwell says:

“Creating positive, memorable experiences does more to connect families than just about anything else.”

4 COMMUNICATE IN THEIR WORLD

One can communicate better if s/he shows an active interest in your listener’s/conversation partner’s world and speaking in terms that they would understand. As for speakers, this might require a bit of research as to the culture and ways of life of their audience. Maxwell reminds us:

“People don’t remember what we think is important; they remember what they think is important.”

Instead of jargons and abstract terms, making your tone personal enables connection.

5 CAPTURE PEOPLE’S ATTENTION FROM THE START

Begin with a story, or humour or a shocking statistic. Create a feeling of anticipation. In this way you inspire the audience to pay attention to you and win their confidence.

6 ACTIVATE YOUR AUDIENCE

Beyond passive listening, you can engage with your audience by asking questions, or using visual props, or even movement of the body. Another way is to give a discussion question and ask the audience to interact with each other thereby raising the energy in the room.

7 SAY IT SO IT STICKS

“All great communication has one thing in common: the speaker said something that people remembered long after the talk was finished,”

says Maxwell. Shape your thoughts in a way that it would stick to people.

It is about how you say it. Link what you say to the people's need. Find a way to be original.

8 LEARN TO PAUSE

The pause enables the listener to process what you are saying for a brief moment. Learn to be comfortable with pauses and silences in your conversation or speech.

9 SHARE YOUR STORIES

When you share stories, you are taking others on a journey with you.

“Stories, after all, are as old as the human race. We live them, and we love to tell them. We use stories to make sense of our experience. And when we share them, we help people understand us, themselves, and their world.”

10 BE THE COMMUNICATOR YOU WANT TO HEAR

Here are some prompts that will help you assess how to be the communicator you want to hear. Answer the following questions:

• Which communicators do you enjoy listening to?
• Who connects with you when they speak?
• What qualities have you observed in the people you admire as communicators?

I wish you all the best!

***

If you’re interested some more ways to engage with audiences you might like to read this post.